


It was a cold night, the talk of forever kept us warm.

by creepypaola



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Can you believe i wrote something where no one dies, Dreams and Nightmares, Intimacy, M/M, No proofreading we die like i medici, Widofjord Week, and maybe also, it's mostly today's prompts, it's very soft, maybe a bit of Fire and Water but it's really a strech
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 08:52:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19292401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creepypaola/pseuds/creepypaola
Summary: Fjords turns back to him and there’s something in Caleb’s tone and eyes that tells him that they are not talking about planning trips or stealing ships anymore.A wizard and a warlock have a post-nightmare talk about home and the future.





	It was a cold night, the talk of forever kept us warm.

**Author's Note:**

> My contribution to Widofjord Week 2019, day 5: Dreams / Nightmares
> 
> Title from Cold Night - You Me At Six

When Fjords wakes up, the feeling of scaly tentacles chocking him is still lingering on his skin. It’s dark all around him, and even if his sailor instincts tell him that that’s just because it’s the middle of the night, he can’t shake the sensation of being held underwater and dragged down and away from the light. 

_It was just a dream, it was just a dream, it was just a nightmare._

He sits on the edge of the bed and rubs his hands over face a couple of times, taking a few deep breaths. Then something dreadful hits him and he immediately flicks his wrist; the falchion appears and Fjords sighs in relief.

The ever-present eye is still framed in the middle of the hilt, a dim yellow glow lighting up the space around it. Fjord stares at it and when the eye stares back he quickly dismisses the sword and stands up.

There is no point in trying to go back to sleep, he doesn’t think he could even if he wanted to, so he crosses the hallway and takes the familiar route towards the porch. He’s glad the house came with a balcony because when Fjord has nights like _these_ , when he can feel the walls closing onto him, opening the window is not enough. He slowly passes everyone’s bedroom, trying not to make the old wood panels creak too much, and prays to whatever gods are up there that his friends are all profoundly asleep. There’s no need for anyone else to not only know that his nightmares are back, but also that they are becoming more and more frequent and threatening as they get farther away from the sea.

So, when he opens the glass door and tiptoes out in the chill air, he’s surprised to find someone else there. Caleb is currently laying down on the floor, arms and legs sprawled allover the surface. He quickly turns his head towards Fjord and seems relieved when he recognizes the half-orc’s face.

Fjord is tempted to just step back inside, but the thought of being surrounded by walls makes his lungs tighten so he closes the door behind him and walks to the banister. He sits down and lets his legs dangle between the bars and rests his head on the iron. The coldness of the metal grounds him and slightly alleviates the pounding of his temples. Fjord stares at the garden beneath him and starts focusing on different details, trying to clear out his mind, or at least to direct his attention to anything else that doesn’t involve golden eyes and saltwater filling his throat. After a while he takes one final deep breath and lies down, welcoming the feeling of cold stone over his warm back.

“Is everything okay?” It takes Fjord a moment to register Caleb’s words, as if they were being shouted from far away and not softly said mere inches from his head. He can’t lie, considering the situation, but he can’t even bring himself to spill his guts, so he just shrugs his shoulders.

“Same old, same old.”

Caleb hums back uncertain, but decides not to press further, well familiar with the weariness that stains Fjord’s words. They stay like that for a while, staring at the inky sky above, sparsely dotted with shining stars. There’s a feeling of easiness and comfort between them, the shared knowledge that there’s a chance they are both here for the same reason, even if no one of them wants to admit it, or has to.

When Fjord speaks again, Caleb slightly startles. “Remember when we were on the ship and you pointed at something in the sky and Nott refused to believe there were other planets beside ours?”

The man next to him quietly snorts, “It feels like a lifetime ago.” He waits for a moment and then continues, “Do you miss the ocean?”

Fjord clenches his jaw and tries to focus on the lights above them, “Now and then yes, I do. Is that bad?”

Caleb hums and considers it, “No, I don’t think so. It’s a part of you, after all.” A pause, “Sometimes I miss my home too.”

Fjords turns his head and looks at Caleb: his hands are crossed behind his head and his eyes are closed. There something peaceful in his expression and Fjord is glad he decided to stay here.

“You do? The Empire?”

Caleb opens his eyes and turns back to face Fjord for a moment before resuming staring at the night sky. “Well, yes, it’s where I grew up. What happened later may have tarnished my memories of it, but I still hold my childhood years close to my heart.”

“Do you ever want to go back?”

“Given the situation right now, I find it hard to believe we could easily waltz back there.” Fjord doesn’t need to look to know Caleb is smiling, “But it would be nice, I think. At least once. If Nott and Beauregard want to, I guess we could try. We should also bring Jester to visit her mother too. We can steal a ship again and visit the coast. Maybe even Port Damali, if you want.”

 “Mh, I don’t know about the stealing part, but I’ll think about the rest.”

Caleb turns to him and furrows his eyebrows. “Don't you want to go back there?”

“I mean, sure, but I lived on ships for years and years, I’m not even sure I would remember the city.” When he continues there are traces of melancholy in his words, “There’s nothing there I miss. I always loved the sea more anyway.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. There was something weirdly comforting in looking all around and seeing just miles and miles of water. It felt freeing.” He laughs softly, “You know, at night I used to lay down like this on the deck all the time. The warmth of the wood underneath and the stars above. _That_ feeling is what I hold close to my heart.”

“And now?”

Fjord props himself up on his arms and shrugs, “I don’t know. Sometimes I think the ocean has never left me, sometimes i wish it had. Lately it feels like I never truly knew it. I think about never seeing it again and I don’t know if that scares or comforts me.”

Caleb watches him and the lines under his eyes and the aura of exhaustion that radiates out his face tell him all he needs to know. He mimics the warlock and sits up straight.

“Is that why you are here?”

Fjords turns back to him and there’s something in Caleb’s tone and eyes that tells him that they are not talking about planning trips or stealing ships anymore.

“Is it that obvious?” and it’s more an admission than a question.

“Not really, but I’m familiar with what a few hours of unpleasant sleep can do to one’s face.” Caleb notices Fjord’s shoulders tens up and before he can replay anything he continues, “Plus, I’m here too, so.”

The warlock visibly relaxes again, “Bad night for you too, uh?”

“ _Same old, same old.”_ Caleb looks at him from where he is sitting and tries to push away he blurry images of fire and flames in the back of his head, “I guess that makes two of us. _”_

Fjords slumps back down again and covers his eyes wit his arm. He feels drained of all energy and wonders when was the last time he didn’t feel this exhausted. “Do you always come here?”

“Yeah, or I head down in the garden. Staying inside feels too constricting.”

They don’t speak for a while and Fjord is starting to consider the pros and cons of falling asleep right there, when he hears Caleb’s soft voice again.

“We will fix it, you know. We’ll find a way.”

“Mh?” Fjord slightly raises his forearm and finds Caleb’s blue eyes staring gently at him, “What do you mean?”

“You. Uk’otoa. The sea. We’ll get your home back.”

Fjord dryly laughs and rests on his elbows, “I don’t think it’s gonna be that simple.”

“I didn’t say it would be,” Caleb raises an eyebrow at him, but the corners of his lips are quirked up, “but we’ll find a solution.”

Both stare at each other for a moment and Caleb’s words are so earnest and his voice so sure, that Fjord feels the pressure on his chest ease a little. He nods at him and the wizard nods back before laying down again next to him.

They stay like that for the rest of the night, with a couple of phrases whispered here and there but mostly in silence, until the black sky turns grey and the nightmares feel far away.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello yes i still have three other wips in my fic folder but i thought about those two sprawled outside staring at the stars and i needed to write about it. I didn't realize widofjord week was _this _close so when it started, and i had NOTHING, i decided to do something with one of the last prompts so that i could have some time. I felt like i had already used the Fire/Water and the Song Lyrics ones in We Could Have Had It All so i went for Modern AU (coming tomorrow!!). But since im a sucker for intimacy and quiet night talks i felt the urge to also fill this prompt; i wrote it in a rush this morning so it's neither long or well planned, but that's just my brand babey!__
> 
> _Let me know what you think here or on tumblr or on twitter (both @creepypaola)  
>  see you tomorrow :)_


End file.
